We think when we are young that when we get older we will know it all. That all of our life experiences will make us wise. But unfortunately as I learned as I have gotten older that is not the case at all.
In fact it is the opposite. I thought I knew it all when I was young. You don’t need to tell me anything, I already knew it. Oh, yes, and I know many others were like this as well. In reality the most I’ve learned in my life were in these last 10 years. Yes, I have honestly opened myself up, I stopped saying why me and learned to ask what is the lesson here, instead.
I’ve realized that I need to look deep down to find what’s eating me? Why do certain things trigger me? Why do I do the things I do?
Along the way I’ve learned to forgive others even when no apology is given.
To close certain doors that are not good for you.
To leave people behind who are not in your corner.
I’ve learned that not everyone has your heart.
These were painful lessons I had to examine and try to learn from.
We all can make ourselves better at any age. That saying about an old dog, can’t learn new tricks may be true for dogs! But we are not animals, we grow, we change, we evolve if….if we are open and willing to do so.
This weekend I was so disappointed that my weekend away went to shit. I had been overworked and exhausted and needed some r and r. Besides the fact that I hadn’t seen the man I’ve been seeing for 2 weeks because of life, distance and family.
I decided to drink. Now if you know me I am not a fall down drunk. It takes 2 drinks to make me drunk. But I had a glass of wine and 2 large Margaritas and trust me I was feeling nothing. When I had my morning conversation with my girl Hassina she was blunt. “Well ain’t that some alcoholic behavior”
That threw me I of course went on the defensive “Hey, alcohol wasn’t my drug of choice you know that” My drug of choice was cocaine.
“That’s not what I said,” she said. You were disappointed and so the first thing you did was drink to ease the pain”
Okay, she may as well have slapped me through the phone. She was right and although I don’t do that very often it could be a slippery slope down that rabbit hole again.
I needed to check myself. I needed to know why I do certain things, and it was obvious that I needed some more work so that I can understand why I do what I do.
See we are all a work in progress, I am no different than anyone else. The only difference is I put my mistakes out for the world to see.
So today my friends, remember we are all works in progress. We all have the ability to learn, to grow, to change. The way you do that is by changing your attitude. Change your thinking, don’t say this is happening to you but for you. Ask what is the lesson? Why do I behave that way? Why does that trigger me? Ask yourself the hard, deep questions and be brutally honest. Hell, it’s not like you’re admitting it to the world like I just did. Just to yourself, to a friend or a therapist, get the help you need and like I say at the end of every blog…
“Be the change you want to see”
@TreadmillTreats
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